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BUELLigan
TSB REGULAR
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Tue Jul 1st, 2008 05:44 pm |
I get these off a website, the "me" is not me. If I post one of my stories I'll specify.
Me: “Hi, can I help you?”
Man: “Yes, I want half of my money back on this camera.”
Me: “I’m sorry? Is there something wrong with it?”
Man: “No, it’s fine. But I want half of my money back.”
Me: “Half of your money? I’m not sure I understand…”
Man: “Look, I bought this camera about 6 weeks ago, and now it’s on a half price offer. So I want half of my money back.”
Me: “Err, sorry, but I’m afraid I can’t do that.”
Man: “So get someone who can!”
(I pop off to grab the manager, and explain the situation to him.)
Manager: “Good afternoon, Sir. **** has explained your problem to me, and I’m afraid he’s right, we can’t refund this difference to you. The item is on sale now; it wasn’t when you bought it.”
Man: “This is ridiculous! You’re ripping me off! Why won’t you give me my money back?”
Manager: “Let me ask you this–if the camera was now twice as expensive, would you come back here and pay us the extra money?”
Man: “Of course not, I’m not stupid!”
Manager: “And neither am I, Sir. Good day!”
____________________
--- There are no speed limits on the road to excellence ---
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BUELLigan
TSB REGULAR
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Posted: Tue Jul 1st, 2008 05:48 pm |
(A man has been waiting for a table at a full restaurant for 15 minutes. A family of four walks in with reservations and is immediately seated. The man approaches the hostess.)
Man: “I’ve been waiting here for 15 minutes. Why were they seated before me?”
Hostess: “I’m sorry, sir, but they called to reserve a table.”
Man: “What, just because they called they get a table right when they come in?”
Hostess: “Yes, sir, they called ahead to reserve a table.”
Man: “Well, that’s dumb! So if I go outside and call can I come back in and get a table right now?”
Hostess: “No sir, I’m sorry, but we require at least a couple hours notice for reservations.”
Man: “Well that’s G** d*** stupid! So he calls and gets a table right away, but I can’t call and get a table? What the h*** is wrong with this place?”
*man storms out*
____________________
--- There are no speed limits on the road to excellence ---
________________________________________________________________________________________
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BUELLigan
TSB REGULAR
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Tue Jul 1st, 2008 05:49 pm |
Me: “9-1-1, what’s your emergency?”
9-1-1 caller: “My phone’s been shut off and the only number I can call is 9-1-1.”
Me: “Are you calling about your phone being shut off or do you have an emergency?”
9-1-1 caller: “My phone. I paid my bill. It should be working.”
Me: “You’ll have to take that up with the phone company.”
9-1-1 caller: “Well, can you tell them to turn it back on? I paid my bill.”
Me: “No, you’ll need to contact them. This is the police department and this is an emergency line. I’m going to have to disconnect the call. You need to contact the phone company to get your phone turned back on.”
9-1-1 caller: “But my phone’s not working! I need it fixed now!”
Me: “I’m sorry. This is the police department. We can’t fix your phone. You’ll need to hang up and contact your phone company. We can’t do anything about your phone.”
9-1-1 caller: “Well that’s not right! I need help. My phone isn’t working and what if I need it? What if I have an emergency?”
Me: “You just dialed 9-1-1.”
____________________
--- There are no speed limits on the road to excellence ---
________________________________________________________________________________________
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BUELLigan
TSB REGULAR
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Posted: Tue Jul 1st, 2008 06:31 pm |
(This is a friend’s experience while working at a popular fast food place on the overnight shift.)
Employee: “Thanks for calling, how may I help you?”
Customer: “Hi. I came through drive-thru earlier tonight, and there’s something wrong with my food.”
Employee: “Um, okay…what’s wrong exactly?”
Customer: “Well, I ordered ***, and there was a used condom on the sandwich.”
Employee, holding in a laugh: “Sir, that’s impossible. We don’t practice safe sex here.”
Customer: “Well played.” *hangs up*
____________________
--- There are no speed limits on the road to excellence ---
________________________________________________________________________________________
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BUELLigan
TSB REGULAR
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Tue Jul 1st, 2008 10:05 pm |
Copy Shop | Kalamazoo, MI, USA
Customer: “My son is locked out of the house and I need to send him the key!”
Me: “We can overnight the key and have it to him by 10:30am tomorrow morning. Shall we send the key to the neighbor’s house?”
Customer: “No, he needs it right now! Why can’t I just fax it?”
Me: “…Ma’am, you can’t fax a key.”
Customer: “Why not? He’s locked out and needs the key!”
Me: “Because a key is a three dimensional object, not a document.”
(Customer stares at me.)
Me: “Ma’am, is your fax machine in your house?”
Customer: “Yes!”
Me: “How will your son get into the house to get the key from the fax machine if he is locked out?”
Customer: “D*mn it! You’re right! Well, thanks for your time!”
Me: “I do what I can.”
____________________
--- There are no speed limits on the road to excellence ---
________________________________________________________________________________________
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